I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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