Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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