I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
