She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
