Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
