she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize