Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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