Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
