Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
