well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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