Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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