Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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