I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
