I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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