how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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