Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
