he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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