Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize