I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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