no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
