they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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