don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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