Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
