Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
