I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
