Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
