I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize