I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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