I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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