4 words: hood of his car
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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