btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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