I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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