Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
