im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Randomize
