Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
