We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
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