So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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