The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize