I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
