I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
