I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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