It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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