Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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