So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
