Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!