I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
