Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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