I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
