Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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