You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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