I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
