I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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