do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
