All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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