dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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