I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
