he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
