Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
