and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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